Inside the male fornication bag

Inside the Male “Fornication bag.”

Kenyan men can be creative, innovative and highly prepared for anything. You may have seen most men walking around with bags every day, especially on Fridays heading to a long weekend out. These bags look like those military bags that can carry all war apparel including food that can last a week. Ever wondered what these men carry in the bags? These tools are arranged in no particular order because none is more important than the other and therefore, appear as no. 1.

1.      Power Extension

Men do not like surprises when they visit their sidechiqs or friends. This is almost the most common tool men carry in their bags, particularly those who own desktop laptops (if you know what I mean).

1.      Power Bank

Let no man lie to you that his phone went off because men carry power banks in their fornication bags. It is almost as important as carrying your National ID during the festive seasons in most cities in Kenya.

1.                  Match Box and Extra Match Sticks

I already told you Kenyan men do not like surprises. They are always prepared to light something up. This tool is not for all men, but it is almost indispensable in their bags.

1.                  Flash Drive

Men need extra memory. That is the simplest explanation I can give. They also like copying staff from their friend’s laptops, so a flash disc cannot miss in their fornication bags.

1.                  Rubber

Forget HIV/AIDS and Jacadala. Men fear pregnancy news. No one wants to hear, “I missed my periods.”

1.                  Toothbrush and Toothpaste

This is for dental formula maintenance. Men chew miraa and can do it two straight days with limited “commercial breaks.” However, these tools may miss in some fornication bags as some men can be dirty.

1.                  Cologne

Men and showers are unrelated. They will take a shower in the house and do it again when they come back three days later. Perfume is the darling in this period.

1.                  The Holy Herb

Men get high. That is it!

1.      Lunch Box

Do not mistake this for the typical lunchboxes slay queens carry in their bags. Kenyan men will surprise you with a full kitchen containing tea bags, thermos (with water), spoons and forks, and depending on where they are going, and some may carry a water heater.

1.                  Extra T-shirt and Underpants

Men like going out in Jeans and re-usable outfits. The main explanation is that Jeans can be worn alongside “any” T-shirts. Therefore, they will wear the same pair of jeans and confuse you with a different t-shirt. Ever wondered why men like black trousers? You have your answer.

1.  Arimis oil.
Nothing feels heavy like a pack of rubber in man's pocket after a failed coitus interreptus plan. They have to "take the law into their own hands". Forgive my honesty.